Lost It All Andley Fan-Fiction
by ImaginingComa
Summary: Andy is just your normal guy, if your normal guy is the lead singer of Black Veil Brides. Ashley is a bass player in Andy's band. It seems simple enough but Andy struggles to do anything after he catches his girlfriend cheating on him. When he thinks that he's lost it all is there any hope for The Prophet?
1. Chapter 1

I sit on the bed, holding the pillow to my face and sobbing into it. My legs are crossed beneath me, ripped skinny jeans clinging tightly to them. Why would she do this to me? I gave her my heart and she ripped in two effortlessly, as if it were just a crappy scrap of paper.

Maybe that's all I am- crappy. Everyone always told me that I was an emo faggot and they're probably right. I should just stop trying. They told me to stop a long time ago- I should have listened. They said that I didn't deserve to love someone and that I didn't deserve to be loved. I know that they're right now- it's fucking obvious for anyone to see.

I scream out, tears interrupting me again and as I lean forward I hear the click of the doorknob. A few second later the lights blaze on redness burning into my eyes. Why can't they all just stay away from me?! Can they not read the sign on my door that says 'KEEP OUT' or are they just stupid?!

'Andy...'

I hear Ashley's voice and something clicks inside of me, making me flip out at him.

'Get the Hell out of here Ashley! I don't want you to be in the same damn room as me, why don't you get that?!'

I throw the pillow at him without looking and I hear it thud against the floor as I protect my eyes with my hands. This isn't worth it. I don't want to be here. I want to get out of this place and be alone. I don't want to be with anyone.

'It's okay Andy. We're all here for you.'

Turning towards him, I take away my hands and growl. As I stand I realize that he's clutching my pillow to his chest and I raise my eyebrows, irritated that he's even touching my stuff.

'I want to leave.'

'Where'd you want to go then?'

Ashley smiles at me and I frown at him. Why can't he just tell that I want him to back off and leave me alone? Why is everyone blind in this dump? Everything's falling apart around me and I don't want to see them. I want my old friends Jack and Daniel to give me a hand rather than this fuck-head.

'Somewhere that you can't find me, that's where!'

I charge into him and run down the stairs, aware of the thud he makes as his back hits the ground. I don't want to listen, I want to go. I want to run. I want everything that I can't have. I want her back.

I open the door, Jake appearing in the corridor. Why does everyone keep popping up around me?! I don't want them near me- I've said it too many times. I've jinxed myself. I ruined it all. I've screwed everything up.

I sprint through the doorway, slamming the door behind me and, as I turn the corner, I see Jake rolling on the floor in pain, clutching his nose in agony. What an idiot.

The soles of my boots slap the pavement over and over again as I hear the distant echoes of voices running through my head. They tell me everything over and over again.

You're a failure Andy. You don't deserve to be alive Andy. No one loves you Andy. They wouldn't care if you died Andy.

It's running on a never ending loop in my mind like a record that runs back to the same part over and over again. My brains wired wrong, why can't I do anything right? I am a failure. I don't deserve to be alive. I don't blame them for not loving me. I don't care if I die either.  
The questions are always followed with the same answer. Over. And over. And over. Again and again and again. They won't leave me alone. Why won't they leave? I just want them to leave like everyone else.

I collapse to my knees, fresh tears appearing on the edges of my eyes. A small river lies in front of me and as I grasp the sides of my head in annoyance and pain I know what I need to do.

If I can't stand it here then maybe I can stand it away from here, maybe I can spend the rest of eternity in Hell side by side with the rest of the worlds sinners. It could always be better than this place, this place is ruining me.

I shuffle forward to the edge of the river and tip forward, the ends of my hair falling into the water before anything else. Gradually, in what feels like forever, my head slips into the icy water.

The small waves begin to lick at my neck, pulling my torso and legs into the waters trap. I'm finally here now.  
I close my eyes, the oxygen running out of my lungs. The river bed beneath me is sandy and laced with rocks but I don't really care. I know that I'll be away from here soon and then it'll all be a bit better, even if it's just a little better it'll be worth it.

I can hear people shouting things but... They're all so far away and I just can't be bothered. I'll just stay here as everything slips away from me.


	2. Chapter 2

My feet pound into the pavement, the light blue soles colliding with the rain-soaked concrete. I had followed him from the start but I never was the fastest runner. For the sole fact that the shoes rub tightly against my feet, each step causes me to wince lightly.

I was grateful that Sammi and I were the same shoe size but I wish she'd had a brighter pair in the porch- I also fucking wish they weren't so high. But what can I say, I like to make a statement.

No Ashley, now's not the time to be worrying about your shoes, it's time to worry about Andy.

His pillow was still tightly clutched in my arms, as if it were a vital part of him that I couldn't ever let go of. I wish I could have had him in my arms instead and held him as he cried rather than having this happen but I guess we don't always get what we wish for.

Inside I'm praying that he hasn't done anything stupid but on the exterior I'm just some random guy running in a pair of heels, looking like a fucking nutter. But, all the same, I feel like there's something strange going on. Then again, he did catch his girlfriend in bed with his best friend Matt- not that I haven't been in that situation before. All I want is for him to be able to smile after this.

From the first time that I looked into those ice-blue pools belonging to him I could tell that I wanted to be more than just 'friends'. I wanted to be with him from that day onwards but I don't think Andy ever knew that, if he did he just chose to ignore it completely. He used to be busy laughing and having fun to get caught up in my actions, I always thought that as long as he was happy there it wouldn't matter if we were more than friends or not.

Charging through the park's black iron gates I instantly noticed a set of footprints trailing across the mud-coated grass, a clear 'AB' printed into them. So, obviously, I followed them- Andy had always carved 'AB' into his shoe soles so that he would have something individual that only he could wear.

My grip tightened around the white pillow as tears began to lap at my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, threatening to break me down as eyeliner followed the salty water obediently.

I won't give up on Andy; I refuse to let his heart and mind sink into the depths of an eternal madness- I care too much to let that happen again.

It grabbed him a few years ago but Christian had saved him before it was too late. He had eventually reverted back to normal, everyday life but I saw it coming back- his pen tapping, nail clicking, insomnia and late night madness were all signs of it coming back stronger and more resilient but I chose to ignore them. I never told a single person. I think I realize now that I dismissed them because I didn't want to face up and say that something as wrong with the person I treasured more than anyone else.

I was ignorant, I should have paid more attention to him, and even now as I reach the side of the muddy river surface it's clear enough.  
Looking as deep as I possibly can into the water, through y reflection and I can just about see the sand shifting along the river bed alongside a black piece of torn fabric trapped under a cluster of small pebbles.

It's nothing significant though- nothing related to Andy at all. I just wish I had the strength to find him before it's too late.

I'm letting everyone down; I'm simply failing them when they can't see me. I don't know why I can't deal with this responsibility but I guess I'm just too weird. It's unexplainable how bad feel. I'm too blame for every part of this insanity.

I owe my life to Andy but I just can't save him. I will never be able to find him in this place, it's too big and I'm too insignificant.

He was the one that made me carry on and I know how dark a place he's in but I just can't find him.

It's a cruel game of hide and seek- except one of us will probably never be found.

_'ASHLEY!'_

_I felt his arms push me aside, quickly throwing me off the metal rail. I saw him quickly pull his arms back, barely dodging the train front that had kept travelling at the same pace as if nothing significant had happened._

_'A-Andy?! Why the Hell did you do that?!'_

_'I don't want to let you die Ashley. I won't let you die.'_

_'What do you know? I'm not normal.'_

_'Wasn't it you who said that normal is just a setting on a washing machine that no one wants to be?'_

_'But I do want to be normal Andy,' I felt fresh tears erupting down my face realization that he was right finally hitting me, 'I don't want to be me.'_

_I cupped my eyes in my hands and began to bawl. I could hear the barrier rising as the small, red sirens beeped around me. I don't want to be here. I could have en gone by now, finally dead and free from every care in the world._

_'_When your life is lost, fight against all odds. Never give in, never back down. _You hear me Ashley? Never, ever, give in.'_

That's where the song lyrics came into play and, eventually, I felt normal. I felt like laughing and smiling after promising that I would never give in. But maybe Andy's gave in without me.

Jogging further up the river, trying to avoid a breakdown, I noticed an abandoned black leather boot wedged so that just the top of it was peaking out of the water.

I crouched onto my knees and reached into the murky water, carefully seizing it in one hand so that I could pull it out as quickly as possible.  
Maybe someone just went streaking again but as I pulled it out of the water I had a slight feeling that I recognized it from somewhere. I can't exactly put my finger on here but the pattern of the studs and the built–in steel toe caps seem all too familiar.

Maybe it was my friends? Actually, wait. Andy had a friend who had a pair just like them. They were part of two sets of identical boots he had been given from Guns 'n' Roses at one of their last tours. Think God damn it Ashley, who had the oth-

'ANDY!'

I scream out in horror, my voice hoarse and dry because of what- or rather who- I see beneath the surface of the water. As it ripples I can make out his face lying innocently, eyes closed, hair hovering above his face as if it were a veil and lips shaped into a smile that's more like a smirk.

I pounce into the water without another thought, unaware of everything else that could be going on around me- I need to get him out of theater before he dies. I already feel like I've lost my chance but anyone who thought I wasn't at least going to try to save him is fucked up.

I feel the shoes slip off my heels as the surprisingly heavy current pushes them downstream as I seize his arm in my right hand, starting to raise it off the ground as I swim upwards. I instantly feel him pull it back into the sand, his brow furrowing but I don't plan on giving up yet.

Wedging my arms beneath him I try to carry him up to the surface with me as a shooting pain appears in my chest, presumably from the lack of oxygen. My eyes sting from the mud in the water but all the same his arms force outwards and push me away.

I let my head bob above the water for a few brief seconds whilst trying to make my decision.

Eventually I take my final breath and dive under to be next to his body- if he won't come with me then I'll have to go with him.

Gradually, I force my hand into his fist and grip on tightly, a very light smile lingering on my lips. I close my eyes and let a few tears leak from under my eyelids, aware that they'll just become another part of the mass water body.


End file.
